MY SILLY THOUGHTS -3

People having perverse thinking may also commit mistakes unknowingly. When such people commit mistakes unknowingly, they do not agree that they have committed a mistake. In all other cases, people commit mistakes unknowingly. In those cases, they are ignorant towards mistakes committed by them.
There may be two causes of committing mistakes unknowingly. In one case, person knows what is right and what is wrong, but he performs a thing without analyzing the thing done with an eye of an impartial critic. One can say that such thing has been done without giving a proper thought. In second case, the person does not have knowledge of doing a particular thing properly. In this case, one can say that thing has been done without having proper knowledge. In first case, the person, who has committed a mistake, needs impartial critic eye and in second case, he needs a teacher who can point out his mistake and may impart him with correct way of performing a particular thing.
There is no difficulty in identifying an impartial critic eye and a true teacher. Where you have committed a mistake without analyzing right or wrong, after the critic draws your attention, you get satisfied. Where you have committed a mistake without knowing the correct way of doing it, after the critic gives its suggestion, you can experience it by acting upon the suggestion and can see outcome.
Unless you have perverse thinking, you always need an impartial critic eye who can point out your mistakes and a teacher who can tell your mistakes and impart you with proper knowledge. So there is nothing to lose your temper when somebody, without having perverse thinking, points out your mistakes and /or tells you the way of doing a thing properly.

MY SILLY THOUGHTS-2

(1)

IF YOU EXPECT THAT OTHER PEOPLE SHOULD ADMIRE AND RESPECT YOU, YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO LIKINGS AND DISLIKINGS OF SUCH OTHER PEOPLE. YOU CANNOT EARN ADMIRATION AND COMMAND RESPECT FROM OTHERS BY THRUSTING UPON THEM YOUR OWN UNCOMMON AND UNCONCERNED LIKINGS AND DISLIKINGS.

(2)

IF YOU EXPECT LOVE AND AFFECTION OF YOUR ELDERS FOR YOU, YOU SHOULD GIVE THEM A MOMENT OF HAAPINESS AND AFFORD AN OPPORTUNITY TO FEEL PROUD OF YOU.

KESHAV DAYAL

NOBLE WAY OF PASSING LIESURE

Friends!
Have you ever thought that for passing your leisure there can be a way which, apart from giving pleasure and happiness to you, can also provide happiness and pleasure to others too. If you have not thought in this direction till now, then would you please like to think about such a way?

Mitron!
Kyaa aapne kabhee sochaa hai ki aapake phursat ke chhana gujaarane kaa koi tarikaa aisaa bhee ho sakataa hai jo aapko aanand aur khushee dene ke saath-saath auron ko bhee aanand aur khushee de sakataa hai. Agar aaapane is dishaa mein abhee tak nahin sochaa hai to kyaa aap sochanaa chaahenge?

Another Way to Acknowledge God

Have you ever looked on the lines of your palm and capillaries or ridges on thumb and fingers of your hand? They are unique. Some of us are well educated today and are capable of putting our signatures in different ways but, at several places we are asked to give our fingerprints or thumb impressions. Police and other investigating agencies lift fingerprints for the purpose of evidence and courts take cognizance of such fingerprints. Similar is the case with lines and mounts found on our palms. There are a large number of ridges or capillaries on palms of our hands.
All persons, who were born on this earth and are no more, had their own palms; all persons, who are alive today, have their own palms; and by precedence, all those persons who will be born in future will have their unique palms. Is anybody capable of counting number of all such persons? Have you ever thought about human’s capability of designing such innumerable structures? Are we capable of keeping account of all palms? In my personal opinion, we can’t design such innumerable structures and we cannot keep account of all such palms. But certainly there is somebody who keeps account of all such palms and always designs a new palm for every child to come. This is what compels me to acknowledge the infinite capability of our Creator.
Like capillaries or ridges in our fingers and thumbs, there are other capillaries. Amazingly, there are some prominent lines on palm of our hand. Definitely, these lines have not been created because of folds of our palm and they also do not give support to our palm. Then what for these lines are on our hands? According to size and shape of palms and fingers, hands can be classified in four categories.
(i) broad, square palms and fingers: The length of the palm from wrist to the bottom of the fingers is usually equal to the length of the fingers;
(ii) square or rectangular palms with long fingers: The length of the palm from wrist to the bottom of the fingers is usually less than the length of the fingers;
(iii) long (sometimes oval-shaped) palm, with long, flexible, conical fingers: The length of the palm from wrist to the bottom of the fingers is usually less than the width across the widest part of the palm, and usually equal to the length of the fingers.-; and
(iv) square or rectangular palm and shorter fingers: The length of the palm from wrist to the bottom of the fingers is usually greater than the length of the fingers.
Had lines on hand been for the purpose of providing folds or support, it would have been possible to classify them in four broad categories. But it is not so. Many of us believe that our character and future are recorded in these lines. If it so, then it is secret for us. Everybody cannot read such lines. May be that we do not understand the language used by our Creator. Palmistry is an art in which a practitioner reads an individual’s fortune or tells something about his/her character by viewing his/her palms. The practitioner uses the lines marks, and patterns to determine the person’s fate or give them insight into their personality. Palmistry is also known by other names such as chiromancy, chiromancy, palm reading, chirology, and hand analysis. The practitioners are often referred to as palm readers, chiromancers, palmists, or chirologists. The history of palmistry dates back thousands of years. Archaeologists have discovered stone, wood, and ivory hands carved that date back to ancient civilizations, so we know man has always been fascinated with the hand.
A palm reader looks at the lines and marks on palm to dictate the various aspects of individual’s life. Hands of course vary from person to person, but most include these three important lines:
The Heart Line– details ones love life as well as emotions and events that predict his/her ability to love and be loved. It is found towards the top of the palm, under the fingers. In some traditions, the line is read as starting from the edge of the palm under the little finger and flowing across the palm towards the thumb; in others, it is seen as starting under the fingers and flowing toward the outside edge of the palm. Palmists interpret this line to represent matters of the heart, both physical and metaphorical, and believe it can indicate emotional stability, romantic perspectives, depression, and stoicism, in addition to various aspects of cardiac health
Line of Life- represents a person’s liveliness, drive, physical health, and well-being; however it is not an indicator of how long someone will live. This line starts at the edge of the palm under the index finger and flows across the palm towards the outside edge. Often, the head line is joined with the life line (see below) at inception. Palmists generally interpret this line to represent the person's mind and the way it works, including learning style, communication style, intellectualism, and thirst for knowledge. It is also believed to indicate a preference for creative or analytical approaches to information
Line of Head– defines how one approaches life, including philosophies, beliefs, learning styles, and desire for knowledge. This line extends from the edge of the palm above the thumb and travels in an arc towards the wrist. This line is believed to represent the person's vitality and vigor, physical health, physical injuries and general well being.
Amazingly, in my own case, in palms of my both hands, in place of three lines viz. the line of heart, the line of life and the line of head, there are only two lines. One of them starts from one side of the palm in between my thumb and index finger and ends on opposite side of the palm. Thus, the line divides my palm in two halves and is deep rooted. Second line, after traveling some distance with first line, curves downwards towards my wrist in the shape of an arc. Till date I have not met a person having such lines in both palms of his/her hand.
There may also be other lines on our palm e.g. Line of fate, line of marriage, line of Marsh, line of mercury, line of intuition, line of fame, etc. Apart from lines, there are mounts (bumps) on every palm. These mounts are associated with specific features of our character. Each finger and various segments of a finger are also meaningful and they are associated with our inner powers, interests and our inclinations towards various arts.
Palmistry is a complete science in it and needs close and long study. Only theoretical knowledge is not sufficient. These lines vary from hand to hand. A practitioner, before starting practice, has to read various palms of known persons and events in their lives.
It is important to note that sometimes reading of a particular line is not complete without reading effect of other lines and mounts. So, before, correct prediction can be made, it becomes necessary to read other lines and mounts and their effect on such line. For example, if life line indicates some danger or physical injury in life at any stage, then it becomes necessary to read existence and nature of line of Marsh at that stage and/or line of mercury. Line of Marsh is thought to be secondary or auxiliary line of life.
A best way to read a palm is to take printout of palm. We should wash the hand to be read with soap and thereafter should apply paint on it with printing ink. On a white sheet of paper we should take printout of palm by putting our hand downwards and our palm facing downwards. We should press the hand with our other hand and if needed we should put eight folded handkerchief over our hand and then we should apply pressure with our other hand. This will give us clear picture of palm lines and location of mounts on our palm. Reading should be done with the help of magnifying glass. Reader should devote full time and should arrive at some result after composite reading of all lines and mounts as well as other aspects.
AVOID ROADSIDE READING OF PALM: What we mean by roadside reading of palm? It may mean incomplete reading, reading with insufficient knowledge of the subject or a casual reading. From the description I have given, you may infer that I have read some books on palmistry. Well it is correct. Knowing this, anybody may stretch his hand before me and may request me to tell him about his future. This may happen even when I visit my friend at his house. If I start telling him something immediately on looking his palm, then it is roadside reading of palm. Firstly, though I admit that I have read some books on palmistry yet I cannot predict incidents correctly because I have not practiced the art of palm reading. For correct predictions, somebody needs practical knowledge. Secondly, I cannot predict correctly unless I read effect of other lines and mounts on a particular line.
When I was doing my B.Sc., out of my curiosity, I decided to know about my future on the basis of lines in my hand. There was a palm reader sitting on one side of the road and people were asking there questions. I also stopped there and when my turn came, I stretched my hand before him. You know what he had told me was that there was no higher education (on being asked what he meant by higher education, he told me post graduation) in my hand and I was suffering from tuberculosis. He also predicted my death at the age of 25 years. Hearing all this I withdrew my hand and walked away without taking any note of predictions made by him. Contrary to his predictions, I am post graduate and I have never suffered from tuberculosis. I have left 25 years stage well behind me. So please don’t go for roadside reading of palm and before consulting any palmist, know about his practical knowledge. Before you consult some palmist, it is better to have some theoretical knowledge. Art is wide spread and is practiced world over. Several books are available on the subject and there are several institutes which provide education on the subject.

Here I am not publicizing various aspects of palmistry. My object behind all this is to draw attention of people towards the Supreme Power. Who has written our future in our hands? It can be done by only that power which knows all about us. Is there somebody who knows about future of all of us? Certainly, there is no such person from amongst us, because none of us has got such capability. All this is beyond human powers. Ultimately, we have to admit some Supreme power.

Is Religion by Birth?

Forgive me for my sins


In the article to follow, I have neither intended to hurt feelings nor intended to weaken the faith or belief in Almighty of any person belonging to any particular religion, sect, caste or creed. If I have said any thing which appears to be wrong or incorrect, it is because of my ignorance towards the reality and has come out because of the devil sitting in me who overpowers me to think like this and makes me restless till we express the ideas to other friends of mine.

After all we are human beings born with divine and devilish features in us। That is why a person who behaves like a noble person at some particular moment, the same person behaves like an animal at some other moment. That is why we feel anger, express hate towards others and administer cruelty. So please forgive me for my sins.



Is Religion By Birth?



What constitutes a religion? In my personal opinion, most probably, our faith and belief in God, our customs and traditions are constituents of our religion. There is nothing which prevents a person from switching over from one set of these constituents to new set of such constituents.

Initially, a newly born child finds its religion from its parents and if parents change their religion, religion of the child also gets changed. Well, we can say that there is no religion of its own for a newly born innocent child. Faith and belief in God, customs and traditions are inherited by it. In case of adoption of a child, where a child is adopted by a person, belonging to a religion different from the religion of its parents, person adopting the child gives its own faith and belief in God, customs and traditions to the child. Such religion continues to be religion of the child till it becomes able to understand the religion and till it does not change its religion.

What happens when a person having faith in some particular religion adopts a new religion? He gets rid of earlier concept of God, customs and traditions; and expresses his faith and belief in new concept of God, customs and traditions. Religion gurus help him in getting social recognition in the new society. All this happens in the manner: “Vasanshi jeernani yatha vihay nevani gruhiyati naroparani” in the manner a man, discarding his old clothes, wears new clothes. Today, inter-religion marriages are also getting recognition. In that case also, religion of either male or female is changed. A person can change its religion even if there is no social recognition.

What is expected from a person in his particular capacity is also referred to as its religion. For example: religion of a warrior, religion of a student, etc. This is temporary phase of life but it reminds us that religion is by cultivation.

Suppose that a person, claiming to belong to a particular religion, acts in contravention of principles laid down in such religion, then can it be said that he is follower of that particular religion? In my opinion, it will be wrong to address him follower of that religion. Suppose, a person, born in a family which had been follower of religion “X”, acts in contravention of religion “X” but in accordance with principles laid down in another religion “Y”. On his death, followers of religion “X” dispose off his dead body in the manner laid down in religion “X”, can it be said that dead person had followed religion “X”? Most probably not, because those were the followers, of religion “X”, who acted in the manner laid down in religion “X”. Had the dead body been able to take decision about manner of its disposal, it is just possible that it would have preferred religion “Y”. My inference is that religion of a person must be recognized by acts and deeds of such person. I mean to say, the religion, which supports his acts and deeds, should be treated as religion of such person. That is why at one place, I have expressed my views about my religion as follows:

There is a limited religion for me and preaching of my religion are those which are defined or described by my acts and deeds.

One should pay full respect to religious books, but it does not mean that religious books are to be worshiped like statue of God. In my opinion, even if I read a particular religious book daily, I cannot claim that I follow the principles laid down in that religious book. Religion is to be cultivated and not to be read only. A foreigner comes in India and during his stay in India, he studies religious books relating to sanatan dharma, can he claim that he is follower of sanatan dharma? No, he cannot say himself to be follower of sanatan dharma unless he adopts and follows principles laid down in those books. Barring those few people whose duty is to study and memorize the religious books, (with my apology to all) I hate those persons who read religious books daily but do not incorporate the principles laid down in those religious books in their daily lives. They are like a foreigner quoted above. This was the feeling which compelled me to write:

Yadi dharma granthon ke pennon par likhe sidhhanton per prayog ka faruaa na chalaya gayaa, to dharma dharma na rahker ek kalaa aaveran hai jiske peechhe Bhagvan ka naam baar baar lene waaley vyakti manav nahin, aapes mein takaraate nirajeev shilakhand hain jinhen mai apanen visheshadhikar athava anadhikar chestaa se dharma ki nindaa kernaa athava makhaul uraanaa adi sangyaayen hi detaa hoon.



If we do not cultivate religion by doing spade work on what is written on pages of our religious books then religion has got no meaning for us, it is just like a black curtain before us behind which there are inanimate rattling stones creating noise and not human beings pronouncing repeatedly name of God. I, with my special right or in an unauthorized manner, call their act as their disrespect for religion or as making of mockery of religion by them.

As it relates to my faith and belief in God, I can neither describe my God nor know my God. Truly speaking, I cannot even tell every thing about any person because I can in no manner know what is going on in the mind of such other person. I am not his closest friend. I have expressed my this feeling as under:

Yadi tum apane ko saadhu kahate ho toa mai tumhein eisaaa maanene se inkaar nahin kartaa, kintu mai apani ore se tumhen saadhu bhee nahin kahataa kyonki meri apeksha tum apane bare mein adhik jaankaar ho.

If you claim to be a saint, I accept it but I do not address you a saint from my side because you know better about you than I.

God is our Creator and we all are among His creations. We even do not know all about ourselves, then how we can know all about other creations of God. Secondly, His capability is not limited only to creativity of all. Thirdly, creator is always greater than its creation. Our capabilities are limited and also we do not know even about our capabilities. In these circumstances, how one can expect from us to say some thing about God. What all can we say is that He is omnipresent and omnipotent and we can only express our faith and belief in God.

As it relates to His omnipresence, His omnipresence is not limited to any worship place. His omnipresence is such that follower of religion “X”, who believes in His omnipresence, also finds His God in worship places built by followers of Religion “Y” because worship places built by followers of religion “Y” are not the places outside the purview of omnipresence. Therefore, it is essential that followers of religion “X” should also see their God in the worship places built by followers of religion “Y”. If we assume that God of the followers of religion “X” also resides in worship place built by followers of religion “Y”, then worship place built by followers of religion “Y” is abode of God of followers of religion “X”. Then how followers of religion “X” can demolish abode of their God and if they do so, then they do not believe in omnipresence of God and their act is against their religion. Therefore, they cannot be said to be followers of religion “X”.

karmanyevadhikaraste ...

KARMANYEVADHIKARASTE ......

       GEETA IS NOT TO BE WORSHIPPED, IT IS TO BE CULTIVATED. It explains life, soul, duty, karma, gyan and so many other things and aspects which are closely related to our life. It can be read at any time, but to understand it, it needs concentration and attention. Even a person, who has not taken a bath, can read Geeta, Geeta can be read even if you are traveling. Followers of any religion may read Geeta. For these and so many other reasons, it has been called Universal Mother. It is the Geeta which says do the task because it is better to do a task than not to do any task. Geeta speaks about performing of task (duty) appointed by ones nature. It is the Geeta which propounds the theory of karma without expectation of result because expectation is the sole cause of sorrows and unhappiness.
       Srimad Bhagwat Geeta is part of great epic Mahabharat. The battle of Mahabharat was fought in between forces of Pandawas and Kaurawas. Arjun was one of the Pandwas. Arjun very well knew that Mahabharat was being fought for justice. But there were certain illusions in his mind.? In the battle field when Arjun found that army of Kaurawas was consisting of his own brothers, teachers and elders, he felt desperate due to his attachment and associations with his own brothers, teachers and elders to whom he had always paid respect. He thought that by killing them he would commit a sin. After killing them he did not want to enjoy kingdom. Then Lord Krishna explained to Arjuna about temporary phase of happiness and sorrows and about immortal feature of soul. He explains that soul is independent of birth and death and it is the body which perishes on death. Soul can not be destroyed. Lord Krishna enlightened him with karm yoga, Gyan Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, saankhya yoga and so many other yogas. Shri Krishna explained to Arjun the cause of sorrows and unhappiness. He told him that these were due to involvement of human being ?in expectations (expectation of result). ?He explained him how one could be free from sorrows. He preached about karm and result in the following Shlok 47 of Chapter- 2 of the Geeta.
   Karmanyevaadhikarastey maa phaleshu kadachan.
Maa karmaphalheturbhuurma tey sangoastwakarmani.
Explanation: Tumhen apanaa karm (duty) karane ka adhikaar hai, kintu karm ke phalon ke adhikari nahin ho. Tun na toh kabhi apane aapako apane karmon ke phalon ka kaaran mano, na hi karam na karane mein kabhi aashakta hoao.
        You are authorized to perform your duty but you are not entitled for result of your doings. Neither you consider yourself the cause of your doings nor have faith in not doing your duty.
         Most of the people easily assimilate the meaning of karmanyevaadhikarastey, but most of them get confused about the words maa phaleshu kadachana. One should understand that if we correlate ‘result of karm’ with ‘karm’, then we are bound to have expectations and when result will not come as per expectations, sorrow is inevitable.? So in order to avoid sorrow, karm phal (result of karm) and karm are to be treated independent. They require dissociation.
    Let us assume that a student works hard before he appears in an examination. After examination is over, he expects that he should secure 75% marks. When result comes he finds that he has secured only 60% marks. Even if achievement of 60% is to be considered good achievement, the student will not be satisfied. It is but natural that the student will be unsatisfied and this dissatisfaction will be cause of his sadness. On the other hand another student works hard before he appears in the examination. Whenever somebody asks him about his expectation, he says I have done my job.? Whatever the result comes is not my concern. This student also secures 60% marks. He feels happy about his result because 60% is a good achievement. So in order to be satisfied, one has to reduce its expectations to zero. Then whatever will be the result, it always will be either to our expectation or more than our expectation. We can reduce our expectations to zero only if we do our duty and forget about outcome of the duty. Another way of reducing our expectation may be that we should sacrifice work done by us. In that case we know that we have done no work (because work done by us has been sacrificed), then in the normal course our expectation will be zero.
       Here it is to be noticed that first line of the shlok is not to be read in exclusion. Otherwise, in absence of karm (where we do not perform our duty) our expectation will also be zero. In the second line of the shlok it has been specifically said that one should not ignore karm. On the other hand even if we, without expectation, correlate the achievement with any karm, we will not succeed in dissociating of karm with result of karm.
    To follow the theory laid down in above referred shlok, it is essential to understand the meanings of the word karm. Usually karm refers to any kind of act. It is an admitted fact that none can stand actionless at any moment till his last breath. Even when a person sleeps he does a karm. Breathing in itself is a karm. This is evident from shlok-5 of Chapter-3 of the Geeta. This shlok runs as under:
             Na hi kashchitkshanamapi jatu aatisthatyakarmakrut.
             Karytey hyavashah karm saravah prakrutijairgunaih.
Explanation: pratyek vyakti ko prakruti se arjit gunon ke anusaar wivasha hokar karm karanaa padataa hai, atah koi bhi ek kshana ke liye bhi binaa karm kiye nahin raha sakataa.
       Every person has to perform its duty in accordance with its nature. No person can stand actionless even for a single moment.
       Then it becomes matter of concern what does the word karm refers to. Here one can think of three things, karm (swadharm), vikarm and akarm. Karm refers to an act which is expected from any person in the specific situation in which he is. For example if one is student then his swadharm is the religion of a student consisting of all those acts which are expected from a student, if somebody is a doctor then his swadharm is the religion of a doctor consisting of all those acts which are expected from a doctor. Karm is an act for which person has right to perform. Vikarm is the act for which a person is not authorized by its nature to do it. Akarm refers to the state in which a person does not perform its karm. So definitely karm refers to ones duty according to ones nature.
       Without karm, we cannot even earn our livelihood. Therefore, karm is essential for life. Shlok -8 of Chapter-3 of the Geeta runs as follows:
           Niyatam kuru karm twam karmjyaayo hyakarmanah.
           shariryatrapi ch tey na prasidhyedakarmanah.
        Apana niyat karm karo, kyonki karm na karane ki apeksha karm karana shrestha hai. Karm ke bina toh sharir nirwah bhi nahin ho sakata.

        Do your task appointed by your nature, it is better to go for karm than remaining without karm. Without karm, life cannot even go on.

Yagyarthatkarmanoanyatra lokoayam karmbandhanah.

Tadartha karm kaunteya muktasangah samaachar.

       Yagya ke ruup mein karm karana chahiye, anyatha karm ke dwaara is bhautik jagat mein bandhan utpanna hota hai. Atah hey kuntiputra phalakanksha se mukta hokar niyat karm karo. Is tarah tum bandhan se sada mukta rahoge.
       One should perform karm in the form of yagya, otherwise karm becomes cause of bondage in this materialistic world. Krishna directs Arjuna for doing his duty without expectation of result and tells him that in this manner he will always remain free from bonds.
      In a yagya we offer things to deities and thereby disown such things by burning them in the pious fire of yagya. In the same manner we are expected to offer our duties in the name of God and thus acts done by us will be sacrificed or disowned. Thereafter, question of expectations will not arise. When somebody disowns anything by way of gift then he loses right of any gain in return of it.
   Thus we see the theory of karma is based purely on logic and it can be exercised by any person whatsoever religion he follows. 

MY SILLY THOUGHTS

[1]

UNEXPRESSED THOUGHTS ARE LIKE STAGNATED WATER WHICH ALWAYS GETS POLLUTED. SO ALWAYS EXPRESS WHATEVER YOU THINK.

[2]

NEVER STOP A COMMUNICATION BECAUSE ONLY COMMUNICATION CAN BREAK THE SILENCE.

WHERE BATTLE IS WON BY QUITTING THE BATTLEFIELD

In this article, I am going to deal with quarrels and contentions which often take place in between two life partners.
In Hindi there is an old proverb “Chauke mein ek se jyaadaa bartan honge toh kabhi na kabhi toa khatenkeinge hi” (If there are more than one vessel in the kitchen, it is most likely that they occasionally will collide and make noise). This proverb is often referred to quarrel, anger or strife in between two life partners. After such incidents partners stop speaking to each other, sometimes for few hours and sometimes for several days. In some cases small contentions or quarrels lead even to dissociation of family relations.
Cause of anger is always associated with one of the following reasons:
(i) When we desire somebody to do something in a particular manner and we find that such person has-
· either not done such thing; or
· done such thing in undesired manner.
(ii) When we do not desire certain types of things from a person to be done but she/he does such things and we are hurt.
In each case, cause of anger can be attributed with our expectations and desires. In most of the cases, while forming or expressing our desire, we ignore the capacity and capability of the person from whom we expect something and due to this reason our desires remain unfulfilled. Student of I standard does not know beyond what is taught in I standard. Knowing this fact if we put a question based on the material which is taught in senior classes and expect from the student to give answer of the question then we will be wrong in our expectation. In this case our desire will not be fulfilled and that will become cause of our unhappiness leading to anger. A person may go on asking questions from a mad person who does not understand any thing. The mad person either will not answer the questions and will keep mum or will say some irrelevant things. This will again become cause of anger for the person putting questions before the mad man. What you will call the person who is putting questions before the mad man.
What I mean to say is that while forming or expressing our desires which are to be fulfilled by others, we should always take into account the capability and capacity of the person from whom we expect our desires to be fulfilled. In own case too, it equally applies. Our expectations should be based on our capabilities and capacities. When we expect a person to do something but she/he fails to do that, we can visualize following three circumstances:
(i) the person is incapable of doing that thing; or
(ii) the person may not get you what you want to be done by him; or
(iii) the person, because of any reason, does not think it proper to be done.
In my opinion, there should not be any cause of anger. Persons, of first category being ignorant, deserve sympathy. Persons of second category also cannot be blamed simply because they are unable to follow you. People often use phrase, “pardon me! I could not get you”. In this case, instead of getting irritated you always explain your view point. In third case too, person is not at fault because every person is expected to do whatever he thinks proper. Simply, other person should not be punished far having different opinion. Where you have asked to do something which is patently useful and proper also for the person who has been asked to do but the person even then refuses to do such thing because he does not consider it proper, then he can be included in persons of first category. Therefore, in this case also, there should be no cause for irritation or anger. But it is not possible unless a person is cool headed.
So far as it is related to cause of quarrels or contentions in between husband and wife, barring cases of quarrel or contention associated with planned exploitation of one partner by the other, in my opinion, in other cases the cause of quarrel or contention may be attributed to following main reasons:
(i) problem of ego satisfaction;
(ii) expectations;
(iii) misunderstanding;
(iv) wrong assessment due to difference of opinion or otherwise;
(v) wrong notions;
(vi) wrong acts related to emotions and feelings, unfair criticism of other’s close relatives or wrong doings of one of the partners which hurt feelings of other partner.
In first five cases, quarrel starts with dissatisfaction. A person forms a notion or draws a conclusion which in her or his opinion is undesirable. In the process, energy level within her/him increases. The person becomes tense. The increased energy results in burst out of anger. This energy is of destructive nature. Then the person expresses her/his anger in words to her/his partner. When one partner says something to the other and such other partner does not relish it then second partner gets irritated. Due to irritation he also reacts in anguish. First partner in order to prove his version reacts further and thereafter the second partner does the same thing. So the battle goes on and anger on both sides reaches to its climax. In the process, energy levels are increased. At this moment anything can happen including beating of an innocent child, manhandling, abusing or throwing of inanimate objects. Finally, process of quarrel ends in discontinuation of dialogue in between them. Energy levels which have been increased do not fall to normal levels and both people remain tense. Thereafter, their normal routine gets disturbed.
In first five cases, each of them claims to be right and nobody wants to be on lower side. In sixth case, the other partner’s feelings get hurt. In all cases, the contention continues till the start of normal dialogue between the partners. But when both partners are at 180 degree, (facing outwards) how dialogue can be initiated in between them, is a big problem.
How a couple can get rid of such quarrels or contentions? My first suggestion is that as far as it is possible, situations which give rise to such quarrels or contentions should be avoided. But always it is not possible. If we think on the origin of a quarrel, we are reminded of a Hindi proverb “Kabhi ek haath se taali nahin bajatee” (It takes two to make a quarrel). So my suggestion is that whenever quarrel starts, one partner should leave the battle field resulting in singling out of the other partner.
In the beginning, I also had to face the same problems. There had been a close friend of mine and he happened to be my neighbourer too. Me and my partner watched them continuously for three months and never found them quarreling to each other while during this period me and my partner had to discontinue dialogue between us once for a complete day. After three months, one day my friend invited us on dinner. After having our dinner with them, while having a cup of coffee, I asked my friend that how it had been possible for them to avoid anger and contentions between him and his wife. My friend and his wife smiled and looked at each other. Then my friend told me that they had entered into an agreement. They had taken a decision that when one of them would feel anger, the other partner would observe silence without speaking a single word. He reminded me that it needed two to make a quarrel and it was not possible for one to fight with him/herself for long time. After speaking two or three sentences she/he also gets cool. Then other partner starts speaking in normal manner as if nothing had happened. I liked the decision of my friend. So I decided to analyze the cause of anger and strife between the partners.
For first five situations, I framed a sentence ‘quarrel undesirable, must be avoided’. I abbreviated this sentence as “qumba”. We both discussed the plan and agreed that whenever one will feel anger, the other, instead of getting irritated will say the word qumba. She/he will repeat the word in response to every sentence of the partner who is angry. After this whenever the contention started in between us either due to misunderstanding or for any other such reason, instead of getting irritated, in reply I said qumba and smiled. My wife again said next sentence, then again instead of getting irritated, I again said qumba and again smiled. Three times this happened. After that my wife stopped and then said ‘kuchh bolate kyon nahin, yah qumba, qumba kyaa lagaa rakkhaa hai’ (What is this qumba qumba? Why you don’t say some thing). Then I said “yaar I am not in a mood to decide the issue right now, we will decide it later”. Thereafter, I stood up and walked a few steps. Then I asked her if she would like to have a cup of tea. She asked me if I wanted to have tea. I said yes. Then she prepared tea and we had our tea together. After that we both were so normal as if nothing had happened between us. Next time when I felt anger, she gave me the same treatment.
When feelings are hurt, it becomes a bit difficult to control the situation. One should try its level best to avoid such situations. However, if it had already happened then I would like to say that feelings can be healed or cured only by feelings. For this purpose, we decided that whenever such situation will arise, the offender will immediately tender his/her apology. She/he will say “sorry, very sorry, really I am sorry for hurting your feelings. I never intended to hurt you. I should not have said or done this”.
In Sanskrit it has been said “satyam bruaat priyam bruaat”. (Speak the truth which is sweet.) Further it has been said that one should not speak the truth which hurts somebody. So even if one partner has spoken the truth which has been a fact, it should have been avoided. Person, who speaks a truth which hurts other’s feelings, is guilty. That is why attention of a one eyed person is not drawn by addressing him one eyed and a blind person is not addressed by calling him blind. One should always remember the noble thought “Apologizing doesn't mean that you are wrong and the other is right, it means that you value the relationship more than your ego”. Also, when you don’t feel shyness in tendering apology before outsiders, then why you should be ashamed of saying sorry to your life partner. Apology should always be tendered in proper manner and by heart. In this case, after saying sorry, process of persuasion should also be adopted. We should not forget that gentle persuasion is more effective than force.
Sometimes we use another tactics. When I find that situación may go out of control, then I say to my partner “yaar tuma toh mujhe yon hi daante chali jaa rahi ho. Aakhir ko main bhee society kaa ek sammaanit vyakti hoon. So have some sympathy.”. (You are scolding me for nothing. After all I am also a respectable person of the society. I deserve for your sympathy). Then my partner cools down and says “daant kahaan rahi hoon, aapaki galatee hee toa aapako bataa rahee hoon”. Whenever I am in a angry mood, she gives me the same treatment.
I call this theory of mine as ABC theory. Alphabet A is used by me for avoiding the situation, B for bypassing the situation and C for conceding. I have been exercising this theory since a long time and have found it useful. Readers of this article may use their own abbreviations.
In the last I will like to point out that these are my original thoughts and hence wrong or incorrect inferences cannot be denied. Also some of my friends may find some thought incomplete. I also request the readers of this article to suggest their own ways to tackle the issue by leaving their comments. I will welcome those suggestions and will like to bring a revised post on the issue because I consider it a serious issue. If the issue continues in any family, the family cannot be happy and the issue may lead to severe consequences including loss of relationship.

How Does All This Happen? यह सब कैसे घटित होता है?

Friends!

This human life and this world are full of mysteries. People often wish others that their dreams may come true. Normally they use this sentence about somebody’s vision and achievement of such vision. If somebody’s vision is fulfilled, we say that his dream has been fulfilled. But in my own life, many times when I had been in sound sleep, in my dreams, I had seen so many happenings which later on turned out true. In such dreams I saw the videos of what was going to happen in future. Sometimes the episode had been related to me and sometimes with some other person.
When for the first time I had noticed, it was the occasion when my High School Board result had already been declared but marks lists were not received from the Education Board. In Uttar Pradesh (India) there is a single State Government Educational Board which conducts High School and Intermediate examinations. It’s head quarter is located at Allahabad, nearly 350 kilometers away from my native town. From there mark lists of all students, appeared in the examination, were used to be sent to the principal of the college concerned. The college staff used to prepare marks sheets of students on the basis of marks shown in such mark lists. When I had passed my High School examination, this procedure was not known to me. After declaration of examination result in the news paper, every student was eager to know about marks obtained by him. Most of the students who had passed with a first class used to contact principal’s office staff daily. One night when I was in sound sleep, in my dream somebody brought the mark list to me and he unfurled the sheet. I could see marks which I had secured in each subject. In the morning, I told this incident to my elder brother. He said that truth of the dream would be known only after mark sheet was issued from the college. On that day I also went to college but they denied receipt of marks list. On third day of the incident, mark lists were received in the college and on fifth day I could get my mark sheet. To my surprise, what I had seen in my dream was a truth and I had secured exactly the same marks in each subject which I had seen in my dream and had told my elder brother. When I gave my mark sheet to my brother, he, after going through it focused his eyes on my face and asked how it would had been possible.
It was summer and we, I and my elder brother, were staying in our native village. The nearest town having bus terminus was approximately 9 kilometers away from my native village. One day our father went to some other place and did not return home on that day. We and our mother did not know about the destination where my father had gone. So we all were worried. But we were helpless. On that day in the night, in my dream, I saw the place where my father had gone and the person to whom he had contacted. I also saw that being late he had stayed in the nearby town. From this town to our native village, no conveyance was available in night hours. In my dream it was communicated to me by somebody that my father would reach home early in the morning. In the early morning when we woke up I told all this to my brother and mother. But it was difficult for them to believe. I and my brother went on morning walk. We were surprised to see that our father was coming home. My father always maintained strict discipline and when anybody asked him about anything not related to him he always scolded him by saying tumhein apane kaam se kaam rakhana chahiye, kaun kya karata hai isase tumhe kya karana (you should be concerned to your own work. You should not care about what others are doing). For this reason, none of us could dare to ask him about his journey. My elder brother asked the way how it would have been possible to know about the place where our father had gone. I proposed that we would search the bus ticket in the pocket of kurtaa (a garment) which father had worn that day. Actually there had been only bus conveyance to the place which I had seen in my dream. So everybody agreed. When my father went inside the bathroom for taking his bath he hanged over his kurtaa on a peg. On search of kurtaa pockets we found two bus tickets used for to and fro journeys to a particular place. When our father came out of the bathroom after taking his bath, we told our father addressing him “pitaa ji” (we used to call our father pitaa ji) that aap amuk sthaan (name of place) tak gaye the aur amuk vyakti (name of the person) se mile the. He said ‘tumhen kaise maloom aur phir tumhein isase kya lena dena hai. Thereafter, he narrated all events and also told that being late he had stayed in the nearby town. When my mother told him about my dream, he was surprised.
I had passed my intermediate examination and had stood first in the college. As per desire of my brother, I applied for admission to B.Sc. course in Allahabad University (in northern India Allahabad University is thought to be prestigious university). I was waiting for admission result. One day Manager of the college from where I had passed my Intermediate Examination called me at his residence. In the evening I met him at his residence. His wife was also present. They asked me to take admission in Lucknow University as there were several known persons and he used to visit Lucknow frequently. But I told him about my admission. He was well wisher of mine and was badly impressed of my nature and behaviour. He also knew about my weak financial position. He assured me of all help and said that whenever I was in need of any sort of assistance, I had to post a simple letter to him. He would have been kind enough to meet my requirements. I thanked them. When I left they handed over a container weighing 4kgs containing pure deshi Ghee. This Ghee was prepared out of the milk extracted from their pet cow. They wished that I should use it in my diet and they also promised me to send it regularly. I could not deny. I got my admission in Allahabad University and also in one of the University Hostels. It was after two months, when in one night in my dream I was communicated about the communication which had taken place in between the Manager and his wife. The communication was in reference to me. Some doubts had been in their minds. In the morning I wrote a letter to them and clarified their doubts of which they had fallen victims in the immediate past evening. When they received my letter, they were surprised to note that without communication of queries they have received reply to their queries. It was occasion of Deewali when I visited them at their house. Then they categorically tried to know that how the fact which had been only between the two was communicated to me. At last I disclosed to them about my dream. They smiled and said ‘tab toh tumhaare bare mein kuchh adverse sochana hi gunah hai’(Then it is a sin to think something against me.)
When I was studying there, one night I saw in my dream that some teacher from my college from where I have passed my Intermediate Examination, was coming to Allahabad and he had some kind of form related to me. Those days, usually I used to leave my hostel room after 5 PM everyday and I used to pass my time alone in garden or any other peaceful place. My room mate was another B.Sc. Part-I student from another district. For the first time we had met there. On that day, in the morning, I told my room mate about my dream and asked him, if my teacher had come in my absence, he would have given him proper respect and would have shared a cup of tea with him. My room partner said ‘are yaar dream toh dream hote hain, anyway he would have done as suggested by me. In the evening when I was out, one of my teachers from my college visited the hostel. My friend asked him whether he or anybody had informed me about his arrival. He replied in negative. My room partner told him that knew about his arrival. My teacher was surprised. After having tea and waiting for half of an hour, my teacher left the hostel with a message for me. He had stayed in an Educational Institute. When I returned to my hostel, my friend hugged me. He asked me whether I was a saint or a foreteller. I said no. Then he said it was a miracle. Thereafter, I contacted my teacher and then he told me everything.
This human life and this world are full of mysteries. People often wish others that their dreams may come true. Normally they use this sentence about somebody’s vision and achievement of such vision. If somebody’s vision is fulfilled, we say that his dream has been fulfilled. But in my own life, many times when had been in sound sleep, in my dreams, I had seen so many happenings which later on turned out true. In such dreams I saw the videos of what was going to happen in future. Sometimes the episode had been related to me and sometimes with some other person.
What had happened was that my name had been recommended for merit scholarship by the Education Board and intimation had been sent to my college from where I had passed my Intermediate examination. Prescribed form had also been sent. Only three days had been left for submission of completed form. But then I had been at Allahabad. Particulars in the form were also to be verified and attested by the Principal of the college. Principal of that college told all this to the manager of the college. The manager reminded the principal that some case of approval related to some college matter was pending with the Education Board at Allahabad. So the manager suggested that all details should be filled in the form as per college records and attestation should be done. Some senior lecturer should be instructed to go to Allahabad for college work and he should also carry with him the scholarship form. There my signature should be obtained and completed form should be deposited. The Principal assured the manager for taking steps what manager has suggested. This decision was taken one day earlier and my teacher had left for Allahabad in the evening on the same day.
One night I saw a dream which was related to my hostel room partner in Allahabad University. Here I will like to tell my reader friends that I had met my room mate for the first time when we got admission in the University. Both of us were residents of same State, the State of Uttar Pradesh, but we were residents of different districts. I do not know even today the college from where my roommate had passed his intermediate examination. His father was some revenue officer in another district and his uncle used to live in his native village. In the morning, I told my room partner about my dream. He laughed at me and said his father had never worried about him after sending monthly expenditure by money order. He said that he had already received money order three days back. So there was no question of his father’s visit. Then I gave him some idea of the body structure and complexion of the person whom I had seen in my dream. His reaction was that I had described his uncle (father’s younger brother). Then he told that his uncle was a pandit and used to say Satyanarain katha and performed rituals. He had no work at Allahabad. So there was no question of his visit to Allahabad.
My room partner was fond of watching Hindi movies. He was so fond that he, being student of Allahabad University, had watched 126 movies in one educational session. Though we had been students of same class with same subjects yet our sections had been different. On that day my class period starting at 2:30 PM was vacant and his class period was not vacant but he had decided to be absent from the class not because of my dream but because he had decided to see a movie starting at 3:30 PM. So we both had been present at 3:00 Pm in the hostel room and for me that had been my last period. My room mate before leaving the hostel for the nearby cinema hall asked me to pay respect to his uncle if he had visited in his absence. I had assured him for that. Then he left the hostel. Hardly he would have walked 200 meters distance from the hostel, he saw two persons coming towards hostel and one of them was his uncle about whom I had told him. So within 10 minutes my room partner returned with his uncle and other man. My friend, after introducing me with his uncle and the other man, told his uncle all about my dream and what I had told him in the morning. Then his uncle reacted saying that it happens to people who always speak the truth. But I told him that it was not true. At so many times I had spoken what had not been technically true. For me, if I had to speak something by which either an individual or people in general are going to be benefited and nobody is going to be hurt then I never hesitate in speaking such lie. Then my partner’s uncle said that such type of behaviour cannot be considered a lie. He said that even the truth which is bitter is forbidden.
When my room partner asked his uncle about his visit to Allahabad, his uncle told him that the person accompanying him had to file a civil appeal before the Allahabad High Court but he did not know any advocate there. So he had contacted him in the evening and asked him to accompany him. They had decided to start next day (on the day on which they had come) early in the morning for Allahabad. That was the reason why he had been there. I don’t know that how all this happens. I think there is no logic for it. Only I can say that there is some supreme power which plans everything and which controls all things. Otherwise how future incidents can be seen. Here I have narrated only few happenings, there are several such type of incidents which have occurred in my life. I consider them some sort of miracles in my life.

 यह सब कैसे और क्यों घटित होता है? मेरे लिए जिज्ञासा का विषय है जिसका उत्तर अभी तक मुझे नहीं मिला है। ऐसी कुछ अन्य महत्वपूर्ण घटनाएं भी मेरे जीवन में घटित हुईं है।   

***

खुशी

         हम सभी के अन्दर खुशी से भरा एक घडा रहता है । इस खुशी (happiness) भरे घडे (pitcher) से खुशी छलकाने का एक तरीका है कि उसमें एक छोटी सी खुशी डालो , उसमें भरी खुशी स्वतः छलक कर बाहर आ जायेगी और हमारे शरीर को खुशी से सराबोर कर देगी । मन हल्का फुल्का महसूस करेगा और हमसे सभी पायेंगे खुशी ।आपने कभी बच्चों को पानी भरे तालाब में एक छोटा सा पत्थर का टुकडा फेंकते हुए देखा है ? टुकडा छोटा होता है लेकिन जो तालाब का पानी उछलता है वह तुकडे का कई गुना होता है । हमारे अन्दर से निकलने वाली खुशी तालाब के उस पानी की तरह ही होती है ।
      किसी व्यक्ति को खुशी के अवसरों को खोना नहीं चाहिए । उसे प्रत्येक समय खुशी के अवसर की तलाश में रहना चाहिए , खुशी का वातावरण बनाना चाहिए । तब कभी कोई समस्या नहीं होगी । अगर आप चाहते हैं की अन्य लोग आपको आनंद दें तब आपको चाहिए की आप उनको आनंद देकर प्रोत्साहित करें ।
      उनकी खुशी कब तक नहीं छलकेगी । लेकिन आपको खुशी का एक छोटा सा टुकडा उनके खुशी के घडे में फेकना होगा । अरे किसी की पसंद (liking) का खाना उसके सामने परोस (serve) करके उसे आश्चर्यचकित तो करो और फिर देखो कि उसके अन्दर से खुशी कैसे छलकती है ।
      आज कि दुनियाँ  में हम सभी तनाव पूर्ण जीवन व्यतीत कर रहे हैं । अगर आप चाहते हैं की कोई तनाव भूल जाय , तब आप उसे एक छोटी सी खुशी देकर उसका ध्यान अपनी ओर आकर्षित करें । लोग उपहार देकर खुशी खरीदने का प्रयास करते हैं , किंतु उपहार तो केवल अस्थायी खुशी ही प्रदान करते हैं । क्यों ? खुशी एक भाव है और भाव की तुलना किसी भौतिक पदार्थ से नहीं की जा सकती है । एक पदार्थ किसी भाव का स्थान कैसे ले सकता है । जब आपका जीवन साथी दिन भर के अपने काम से थका हारा शाम को घर वापस आता है, तब जब आप उसका स्वागत करते हुए दो मीठे बोल बोल देते हैं जैसे कि आज आप कुछ थके से लग रहे हैं, आप बैठ कर कुछ आराम कीजिये मैं आपके लिए चाय  / काफी लाता हूँ / लाती हूँ । और जब आप एक कप चाय या काफी लेते हुए अपने साथी के दिन भर के अस्सिग्न्मेंट्स और घटनाओं के बारे में पूँछ लेते हैं तब आप मेरा यकीन कीजिये कि आप अपने साथी का दिल जीत लेते हैं । कभी-कभी ऐसा भी हो सकता है कि आप का साथी आप के द्बारा चाय या कोफी लेने के बारे में पूछने पर आप से कह दे कि  अगर आपने ले ली है तब रहने दो । ऐसे में अगर आपने चाय ले भी रक्खी है तब खुशी की खातिर अपने साथी के प्रति प्रेम की खातिर एक झूठ भी बोल देने कि आप तो उनका इंतजार कर रहे थे और सोच रहे थे कि आपके आने पर ही आपके साथ ही चाय पियेंगे, से कुछ नहीं बिगड़ता । झूठ वह होता है जिसके पीछे दूषित भावना हो , जिसके बोलने से किसी का अहित होता हो । इसमें नया कुछ भी नहीं है लेकिन इससे घर आने वाले साथी को खुशी मिलती है और जिंदगी में नया उत्साह भर जाता है ।
       विषम आर्थिक स्थिति रखने वाले परिवारों के लडके और लड़कियों की शादी कोई नयी चीज नहीं है। एक सामान्य स्थिति है. लेकिन कुछ मामलों में यह असामनता दुख का कारण बन जाती है और जिंदगी से आकर्षण ही समाप्त हो जाता है। शादी के बाद पति और पत्नी दोनों की जिम्मेदारी होती है की जिंदगी की गाड़ी बिना किसी रुकावट के चले । हम भूत काल पर असंतोष जताते हुए वर्तमान का आकर्षण क्यों खो दें ।

       एक अबोध बच्चा खुशी का कभी न समाप्त होने वाला एक विशाल श्रोत होता है । कोई भी व्यक्ति बच्चे से उतनी खुशी पा सकता है जितनी वह चाहे । हमें बच्चे की दुनिया को खिलोने देकर सीमित नहीं करना चाहिए । खिलोने खिलोने होते हैं । एक दिन बच्चे का मन ऊब जाता है और वह अन्य खिलौना चाहने लगता है । क्योंकि पुराना खिलोना अब उसे और खुशी नहीं दे पाता है । हमें उसके इन्नोसेंट एक्ट्स को शेयर करना चाहिए और आनंद का अनुभव करना चाहिए ।
         क्या आपने ध्यान दिया है कि एक अबोध बच्चे के चेहरे पर मुस्कान कितने ही लोगों को अपार खुशी दे सकती है । हमारे दायित्व और प्यार केवल बच्चे का मन पसंद खाना, जरूरत की दवा, उसका होम वर्क और विश्राम तक सीमित नहीं होने चाहिए । हमें बच्चे के साथ अधिक से अधिक बात करने का प्रयास करना चाहिए । हो सकता है की उसके विचार हमारे लिए अर्थहीन हों, किंतु हमें यह नहीं भूलना चाहिए की ऐसे विचार बच्चे के लिए बहुत महत्व रखते हैं और इसीलिए वह हमारे साथ विचारों को शेयर करता है । हमें धैर्य नहीं खोना चाहिए । बच्चे का व्यवहार निश्चित रूप से हमें खुशी देता है । माता या पिता के लिए बच्चे कभी बड़े नहीं होते, वे सदा ही बच्चे रहते हैं । इस कारण कोई भी माँ - बाप जब तक उनका बच्चा उनके पास है खुशी का जीवन के अंत तक अनुभव कर सकते हैं । कभी मत भूलो कि छोटी खुशी देने से बड़ी खुशी मिलती है ।

HAPPINESS
ham sabhi ke andar khushi bhara ek ghara rahataa hai. Isa khushi (happiness) bhare ghade (pitcher) se khushi chhalakaane ka ek tarika hai ki usamein ek chhoti si khusi daalo, usamein bhari khusi chhalak kar baahar aa jaayegi aur hammare body ko khushi se bhar degi. Man halka fulka mahsoos karega aur hamase sabhi paayenge khusi.Dekha hai kabhi bachchon ko pani bhare taalaab mein ek chhota sa patthar ka tukada pheinkate huye. Tukada chhota hota hai lekin jo taalaab ka paani uchhalata hai woh tukade ka kayee guna hota hai. Hamare andar se nikalane waali khusi taalaab ke us paani ki tarah hi hai.?A person should not miss occasions of happiness. At the same time s/he should search occasions, s/he should create atmosphere of happiness. Then there will be no problem. If you want that others should give you pleasure, give them a small pleasure. Unaki khushi kab tak nahin chhalakegi. But you will have to throw a small piece of stone of happiness in the pitcher of happiness which they possess. Are kisi ki pasand (liking) ka khana usake saamane paros (serve) kar use surprise toh doa, dekho khusi chhalak padegi.In the world of today, we all are living a tense life. If you want that one should forget about tension, try to draw his/her attention towards you by giving her/him a small pleasure. People try to buy happiness by presenting gifts. But those gifts give only momentary pleasure. Why? Happiness is something abstract and cannot be equated with any materialistic thing. How a materialistic thing can be a substitute of an abstract thing? When counterpart returns home after attending his/her job, when his/her counterpart receives him/her and says today you seem a bit tired. Thereafter asks him/her to be relaxed and to have a cup of tea or coffee. While having a cup of coffee or tea, when counterpart asks him or her about the days assignments, you trust me; s/he wins faith of her/his counterpart. Sometime it may happen that counterpart may refuse to have tea or coffee or anything else or may say that if you already had, then leave it. But then even if you had already taken tea or coffee, tell him/her that you had decided to have a cup of coffee or tea with him/her. There is nothing new in it but it gives a lot of pleasure to the person coming home. And the life goes on …… with new enthusiasm.Marriages in between girls and boys having unequal financial status are not uncommon. But in some cases, this inequality becomes cause of grievance and life loses all its charm. After marriage, it is the responsibility of husband and wife both, to run the life in a smooth manner. Why we should lose charm of our present by repenting for our past?An innocent child is always a vast treasure of happiness, an enormous source of love. One can get so much of love from a child as s/he desires. We should not circumscribe the world of a child by providing him/her toys alone. Khilone, khilone hote hain. Ek din bachche ka man uub jaata hai aur woh naya khilona chahane lagata hai because old toy gives him/her no more pleasure. We should share his/her innocent acts and enjoy them. Have you noticed that an innocent smile on face of a child gives lot of happiness to so many persons? Our sincerity and love should not be limited to our acts of providing food, medical needs, home work or rest. We should talk to him/her as much as we can do. His/her thoughts may be meaningless for us, but we should not forget that those are important for the child that is why the child has shared with us. One should not be impatient. The child’s behaviour definitely will give you moments of pleasure. For a mother or a father, her/his child never gets old. So one can enjoy happiness till his/her child is there. Never forget, chhoti khushi dene se badi khushi milati hai.

मेरा और आपका घनिष्टतम मित्र

क्या आपने कभी सोचा है कि मित्र और मित्रता शब्दों का हमारे जीवन में क्या अर्थ है ? आपके प्रति धनात्मक सोच रखने वाला कोई भी व्यक्ति जो आपके निकट है, आपका मित्र होता है। मित्र वह व्यक्ति होता है जिसके साथ आप अपने कृत्यों और रहस्यों को बाँट सकते हैं। किस सीमा तक किसी मित्र के साथ आप अपने कृत्यों और रहस्यों को बाँट सकते हैं इस पर ऐसे व्यक्ति के साथ आपकी  मित्रता की घनिष्ठता निर्भर करती है । अगर आप इस दृष्टि से मित्रता का परीक्षण करें तब आप पायेंगे की आप अपने सभी मित्रों के साथ समान रूप से अपने कृत्यों और रहस्यों को उजागर नहीं कर सकते है । क्या आपने कभी इस बारे में सोचा है की आपका सबसे घनिष्ट (घनिष्टतम) मित्र कौन है? मित्र एक आवश्यकता है, इस बात से हम इनकार नहीं कर सकते हैं । हम मानव प्राणी इस धरा पर दैवीय और आसुरी दोनों प्रवृतियों के साथ पैदा हुए हैं । यही कारण है कि एक दयालु व्यक्ति जो किसी क्षण पर दयालुता दिखाता है, किसी अन्य क्षण पर जंगली जानवरों की तरह भी व्यवहार करता है, कोई निर्दयी व्यक्ति भी किसी क्षण पर भलाई का कार्य करने में आनंद पाता है ।

कभी हम अपराध करते हैं, किंतु उसके बाद शर्मिन्दा होते हैं । जब हम अपराध करते हैं तब दुखी होते हैं और हमारा दुःख तब तक द्रवित नहीं होता जब तक हम इसे दूसरे के साथ व्यक्त न कर लें । हम ऐसे अपराधों की भी कल्पना कर सकते हैं जिनको किन्हीं कारणों से इस धरा पर अपने किसी भी मित्र के साथ व्यक्त नहीं कर सकते हैं । जरा सोचें की अगर जिंदगी भर अपराध का बोझ लिए ग्लानि और पश्चात्ताप के साथ चलना पड़े तब जिंदगी कितनी बोझ बन जायेगी ।

अगर हम विश्लेषण करें तब हम पाते हैं कि हमारा अपराध या कृत्य कितना ही छोटा या कितना ही बड़ा या घिनौना क्यों न हो, हम उसको भगवान् के सामने स्वीकारने में कोई संकोच नहीं करते । उससे हमें कुछ भी छिपाने की आवश्यकता नहीं है शायद इसलिए की हम उससे कुछ भी छिपा पाने में समर्थ नहीं हैं। यह जानते हुए भी कि उससे कुछ भी छिपा नहीं है, हम अपने दुष्कृत्यों को उसके साथ शेयर (व्यक्त) करते हैं और उससे क्षमा याचना कर हल्कापन महसूस करते हैं । इस कारण से भगवान् हमारा सबसे घनिष्ट मित्र है । इसीलिये कहा गया है ‘त्वमेव माता च पिता त्वमेव, त्वमेव विद्या द्रविणं त्वमेव, त्वमेव बन्धुश्च सखा त्वमेव, त्वमेव सर्वं मम देव - देव’।इसलिए भगवान हमारा घनिष्टतम और निकटतम मित्र है ।

MY AND YOUR THE CLOSEST FRIEND
Have you ever thought what the words friend and friendship mean for us? Any person, who in positive manner, is close to you is your friend. Friend is a person with whom you can share your acts and secrets. Closeness with a friend depends on the degree to which you can share your secrets with your friend. If you examine your friendship with this aspect, you will find that you cannot reveal your secrets equally among all your friends. Have you ever thought who is your the closest friend? Friend is a necessity. We  cannot  deny this fact . We are human beings born with divine and devilish feature. All of us have been born with both of these features. That is why sometimes a cruel person feels pity and a noble person behaves like a wild animal. Sometimes, we commit a sin but soon after committing sin we feel ashamed of our doing. Then we are sad and our sadness does not get diluted unless we share this with others. Also we cannot share such act with anybody who is not close to us. Think over the degree of depth of sins those may be committed by a person and also think about the friend with whom you can share your all sins committed by you and about disclosure of the sins of the lowest and the highest degree with your friend. 

If we analyze friendship and our friend then we find that we do not hesitate in disclosing our all sinful acts and noble deeds before God, howsoever small or big those may be. Also He is omnipotent and omnipresent and therefore, even if we want, we cannot hide anything from Him. He is benevolent and all powerful.  He is source of infinite energy and Creator of all. By confession, we also share with Him all our sins which we cannot share with anybody else. That is why He is the closest friend of mine.

मेरी प्रार्थना

मैं अपनी प्रार्थना का विश्लेषण करने पर इसे तीन भागों में विभक्त कर पाता हूँ ।

भगवान में आस्था एवं विश्वास (स्तुति)

प्रार्थना के इस भाग के अंतर्गत हम सर्वशक्तिमान, सर्वविद्यमान और सर्वज्ञाता का अस्तित्व स्वीकारते हैं और उस के अनेकानेक गुणों का बखान करते हैं । उसको हम अपना अत्यन्त निकट हितैषी मानते हैं । उसे सभी लौकिक और अलौकिक बस्तुओं और सुखों का दाता मानते हैं । उसमें अपनी आस्था और विश्वास व्यक्त करते हैं ।

दोष-स्वीकृति और क्षमा याचना

प्रार्थना के इस भाग के अंतर्गत हम सर्वज्ञाता से हम से जाने और अनजाने में हुयी त्रुटियों और अपराधों के लिए क्षमा माँगते हैं । इससे हमारे विचार निर्मल होते हैं और भविष्य में गलतियाँ न करने की प्रेरणा मिलती है । हमें अनेकानेक मामलों में ग्लानि और पश्चात्ताप की पीड़ा से मुक्ति मिलती है। 

कल्याण की भावना

प्रार्थना के इस भाग के अंतर्गत हम सर्वशक्तिमान से अपने और जगत के समस्त प्राणियों के लिए सुख एवं समृद्धि प्रदान करने की कामना करते हैं । सभी को सद्मार्ग पर ले चलने की कामना करते हैं । 
मैं समझता हूँ की मेरी प्रार्थना अपने में पूर्ण है और इसमें कुछ जोड़ने अथवा इससे कुछ कम करने की आवश्यकता नहीं है । 
मैं नहीं जानता कि  आप किस धर्म और सम्प्रदाय के अनुयायी हैं मेरी जिज्ञासा है कि क्या आपकी प्रार्थना में भी यही तीन भाग हैं। यदि नहीं तब मैं अपनी प्रार्थना में क्या जोडूं या कम करूँ ताकि  प्रार्थना पूर्ण हो जाय। यदि आपकी प्रार्थना में भी यही तीन भाग हैं तब मेरी जिज्ञासा यह है कि  दो  विभिन्न  धर्मों के लोग एक समय में एक ही स्थान पर बैठकर प्रार्थना क्यों नहीं कर सकते। प्रश्न यह भी उठता है कि यदि एक पूर्ण प्रार्थना में उपरलिखित तीन भाग ही होते है, तब विभिन्न धर्मों के होते हुए भी सभी के लिए एक सर्वमान्य सारभौमिक प्रार्थना क्यों नहीं हो सकती ।

MY PRAYER

On analyzing my prayer, I can divide it into three parts:

(i) Expression of faith in the Almighty

In this first part of my prayer, I express my faith in the Supreme power. I remember Him in so many ways, sometimes in few words and sometimes in so many words. I feel that He is the infinite source of energy and is owner of benevolent powers. He gives his blessings to all and forgives me and all for all our sins. In Hindi, this part of my prayer may be called as “Stuti”.

(ii) Confession before the Almighty

In this second part of my prayer, I confess my sins those would have been committed knowingly or unknowingly. I feel that He knows all about my deeds। I surrender before Him and apologize for my wrong doings. I pray for His forgiveness। In Hindi, I may call it “Samarpan aur chhamayachna”.

(iii) Wish

In this last third part of my prayer, I wish that He should bestow all of us with happiness and prosperity. He should lead us kindly light. In Hindi we may call it “apani aur sabhi ke kalian ki bhawana”.

In my opinion, my prayer is complete and nothing is required to be added or deleted. I don’t know which concept of religion you follow, to which sect you belong, my quest is;Whether your prayer differs from my prayer? If it is so, then how I can make my prayer a complete PRAYER. If, your prayer is the same as the prayer of mine, then why we cannot exchange our prayers. If, you also believe in omnipresence of God, then why we cannot offer our prayers by sitting together at the same place. And my last quest is:Why there cannot be a universally acceptable prayer for all?

भगवान की सर्वविद्यमानता

मैं नास्तिक हूँ किंतु इतना बड़ा नहीं कि राह में आए मंदिरों में भगवान् के अस्तित्व को नकार दूँ , साथ ही इतना बड़ा आस्तिक भी नहीं हूँ कि भगवान् को ढूढने के लिए मंदिरों की खोज में ही घूमा करुँ , क्यों कि मेरा अपना विश्वाश है कि भगवान् मंदिरों में ही नहीं मंदिरों में भी है क्यों कि वह सर्वविद्यमान है ।

OMNIPRESENCE OF GOD
I am an atheist but I cannot afford to deny existence of God in the temples* which fall on my way . At the same time, I am not so big a priest that I should run after temples in search of God . Because, temple is not the only place where God exists, but temple is one of the places among all places where God exists, because He is omnipresent.
Notes:
*Here temple word has been used to symbolize a worship place. How God, the Creator of whole universe can be confined within the four walls of a temple? He also cannot be thought of composed of many ….. Almighty is always with you. You can feel Him at any time and at any place. Temples may be thought necessary for reminding us about God like Ashoka Pillars (Stambh), but for offering our prayers, temple is not a necessity. A temple is not required to feel His presence.

मेरी चाहत

सुगंध भरी सबा जगाए हर प्रातः,

आशा की किरन दे उषा की लालिमा।  

मिले हिमालय से विश्वास अडिग पर्वत सा,

गीता से ज्ञान मिले, मिट जाए सारी कालिमा।।

भर दे सागर गहराई तेरे चिंतन में,

तितलियाँ भरें नित नये रंग जीवन में। 

रक्षक बनें दया और लज्जा तुम्हारे,

बनें शील आभूषण तेरे यौवन में।।

आदर्श बनो प्रेम की, मीतों की मीतों बनो,

सहारा बनो दीनों की, कुरीतियों का काल बनो। 

दुआ यही मेरी, रब की रहमत बने रहे,

प्रिय की हो बाँसुरी , तुम बाँसुरी का गीत बनो।।




MY WISH
sugandh bharii sabaa jagaaye har praatah,
aashaa kii kiran de ushaa kii laalimaa. 
mile himaalaya se vishvaas adig parvat saa,
giitaa se gyaan mile, mit jaaye saarii kaalimaa
bhar de saagar gaharaaee tere chintan mein,
titaliyaan bharen nit naye rang jiivan mein. 
rakshak banen dayaa aur lajjaa tumhaare,
banen shiil aabhooshana tere yauvan mein. 
aadarsh bano prem kii, miiton kii miit bano,
sahaaraa bano diinon kii, kuriitiyon kaa kaal bano. 
duaa yahii merii, rab kii rahamat bani rahe,
priya kii ho baansurii, tum baansurii kaa geet banon.

मधुमास

उड़ी मलयानिल ले भीनी -भीनी सुरभित सुगंध,
उतरा आँगन में सूरज बन आभा की प्रतिमा का प्रतीक ।
सिहरन भरी थिरकन चली घुल गई जीवन में मिठास,
झुकी डालियाँ फूलों से उन्माद मरू में छा गया ।
प्रेममय उल्लासमय मधुमास ऐसा आ गया …
अल्हड़पन ले सुबह से,खिल उठी मुस्कुराहटें फूल सी,
बसुन्धरा पर यौवन ने बिखेर दिया जीवन सा ।
अनबंधे बंधन बंधे , टूटते दिल फिर जुड़े,
अभिशप्त सोया प्यार भी निमंत्रण मौन पा गया ।
प्रेममय उल्लासमय मधुमास ऐसा आ गया …आईये हम बदल लें , मिलकर पुरानी धारणाएं,
हिंसा औ नफरत भरी अन्धविश्वासी मान्यताएं ।
हर व्यक्ति की पहचान हो मात्र बस इंसान से,
सभी को विश्वास हो विश्वास जग में छा गया ।
प्रेममय उल्लासमय मधुमास ऐसा आ गया …

MADHUMAAS

udi malayanil le bhini-bhini surbhit sugandh,
utaraa aangan mein sooraj ban aabhaa ki pratimaa ka pratik.
Siharan bhari thirakan chali ghul gayi jeevan mein mithas,
Jhuki daaliyan phoolon se unmaad maru mein cha gayaa.
Premamay ullaasmay madhumaas aisaa aa gayaa…
Alhadpan le subah se, khil uthi muskarahtein phool si,
Basundharaa par yauwan ne bikher diyaa jeevan sa.
Anbandhe bandhan bandhe, tootate dil phir jude,
Abhishapt soyaa pyaar bhi nimantran maun paa gayaa.
Premamay ullaasmay madhumaas aisaa aa gayaa …
Ayiye hum badal len, milakar purani dharnaayen,
Hinsaa au napharat bhari andhvishwaasi manyataayen.
Har vyakti ki pahchaan ho matra bas insaan se,
Sabhi ko vishwaas ho vishwaas jag mein chhaa gayaa.
Premamay ullaasmay madhumaas aisaa aa gayaa …
Meanings:

Malayanil = cold breeze which blows in the morning in spring season. It is believed that it comes from Malaya mountain. Udi= spread; Bhini-bhini surbhit sugandh = fragrance, sweet-smell mixed with air; Aabha= splender; Siharan = shivering; Thirakan= dance with expressive action and gesture; Unmaad = intoxication, intense passion; Maru =desert; barren land; Alhadpan = ignorance, inexperience; Yauwan= adolescence, youth; Anbandhe = untied; Bandhan =bonds; Abhishapt = cursed, imprecated; Nimantran =invitation; Dharnaayen= notions, belief; Hinsa = crulity; Napharat = hatred; Andhviswasi = blind faith; Manyatayen = beliefs; Insaan = human; Vishwaas =faith; jag =world.

ऐसा भी एक दीप जले : Kindle a Lamp

बहें बयारें शान्ति ज्ञान की,
अन्धकार सब छंट जाए
फट जाय तिमिर की काली चादर,
जग प्रकाशमय हो जाए
मलयानिल से आए सुरभित सुगंध,
सौरभ जग में छा जाए
छलके स्नेह अमिय की गागर,
डगर प्यार की आ जाए
AISA BHI EK DEEP JALE

Bahein bayaarein shaanti gyaan ki,
Andhkaar sab chhant jaye.
Phat jaay timir ki kali chaadar,
Jag prakashmay ho jaye.
Malyanil se aaye surbhit sugandha,
Saurabh jaga mein chhaa jaye.
Chhalake sneh amiy ki gaagar,
Dagar pyaar ki aa jaye.
MEANINGS:

Bahein =blow; bayaarein = air; shaanti= peace; gyaan= knowledge; andhakaar=darkness; chhant=dispel; phat=torn; timir= darkness; kaali=black =chaadar=sheet; jag=world; prakaashmay =full of light; malayanil= air blowing from mountain malay; surbhit sugandh =smell full of fragrance; saurabh= polygrains of flowers; chha jaaye= spread; chhalake= spill or overthrow, running over of a liquid from a pot, an overthrow of a liquid in a pot; sneh= love, affection; amiya= nector; gaagar=pitcher; dagar= path, road; pyaar=love.